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By Michele Neisler
In the event of an unsupportive spouse or partner, the first thing you need to ask yourself is why your partner is unsupportive of your business. Try to look at the situation from his point of view, or remember the last time you were unsupportive of him and what the reasons were for being unsupportive.
Perhaps you have been devoting more time to business than your usual priorities or you have decreased special time spent with him. Is it possible that he feels more pressured to provide a stable income now that you are home and don’t have a guaranteed salary every month? Is this your first attempt at working from home? If this is not the first time, was the last time unsuccessful?
Make special time to talk to your partner about his feelings. Arrange a quiet time and devote your attention only to him for this talk. Approach the situation without being argumentative. Let him know that you want your business to work, but you want it to be in harmony with your family life. Remind him that you started working from home to spend more quality time with him and the children.
Think of your business much like a new baby being brought home from the hospital. Although he may be excited, there is also the worry that he will be “replaced or neglected”. Maybe you followed the advice of experts that told you to involve him and let him feed the baby or do other important tasks that included him. Find a way to include him in your business. This may be as simple as asking him for an opinion or having him mail something for you.
If, in fact, he is unsupportive because he doesn’t agree with your choice to work from home or he doubts you will be successful, you will need to approach this matter differently. Map out your business plan. Set realistic goals. Record the goals and mark them off when they are met. Let him see these things so that he may see you are serious and he can also chart your progress.
In the rare event that he may be unsupportive because he feels threatened by you being more successful than him, don’t flaunt your successes. Invite him to share in your happiness, but don’t “rub his face in it”. Remind him that you are not in competition, that you are a team in life.
If these suggestions don’t help, you may need to seek outside help such as counseling for your relationship. Even if he is not receptive to the idea, going alone can still be beneficial. Sometimes a neutral party can point out things you may not notice because you are too close to the situation. This can also be great for your confidence as well as a chance to relieve some of the stress and unhealthy feelings you carry that hinder your ability to be productive or successful.
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