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By Alicia Forest
If you could wave a magic wand, what would your life look like right now? I hope that there are many things in your life that would remain exactly the same, but invariably there are some things that you’d like to change, do away with, make better, or enjoy more. Yet it’s difficult to achieve success in any or all of those areas if you’re not sure what success means to you individually.
It’s easy to let others define success for us. Parents, friends, the community in which we live and work, besides dealing with our own issues of caring about what others’ think. But if you take the time to really think about what success in life means for you, you may find that you’re very close to achieving it, or you may find yourself a bit off track, or on someone else’s track. Here’s an opportunity to create the track for yourself.
My definition of success came by way of my coach and Tom Morris, the author of “True Success: A New Philosophy of Excellence.” The definition goes something like this: Success is doing what you love to do when you want to do it with the people you want to do it with.
So what is your definition of success? If you could wave a realistic magic wand, what would your business look like right now? Would you have more clients or customers? Or would you have less clients or customers? Would you have an assistant or would you have a whole team supporting you? Would your prices or fees be more? Would you offer pro-bono or discounted services or products? It's difficult to achieve success in any or all of those areas if you're not sure what success means to you and your business.
Grab a piece of paper and a pen, as we’re going to do an exercise.
There are three steps to defining success for yourself and your business:
Step 1: Ask yourself this question: I know I am being successful by/when…
When we set out to start our own business, we have certain desires about what that business is going to be, what it is going to do and be as part of our life. Many times in the excitement of becoming your own boss and embarking on a dream, our desires are a bit intangible, and in order to become successful more quickly, we need to make those desires more tangible. Your definition may be different than your partner's or your competitor's, but what's important is that it be the truth for you and how you want your business to be as part of your life's work.
Here are some examples:
1. I know I'm being successful when I have done one thing each day to move my business forward.
2. I know I'm being successful when my clients/customers rave about my services.
3. I know I'm being successful when I can give away some of my talent without attachment.
Step 2: Tweak your responses until they resonate.
What does that mean? You'll know when you've hit on the right wording for you when you feel it, that twinge in your stomach, or the flutter of your heart. You'll feel excited about it and it will truly resonate in the fiber of your being. If you've never done anything like this before, no worries. It usually takes people a few days and more than a few tries before something starts to sing to them.
Just a note here: Try to eliminate what you think should be your definition of success. Focus instead on what you really, really want, even if it's completely different from how you now run your business, or how you now define it.
Step 3: Notice the tugs you feel.
Once you've defined success for yourself, be aware of the tugs you feel over the coming weeks. The tugs, those little, "please do this," or "no, don't do that anymore," are trying to help you make the changes, whether slight or significant, that now align with your definition of success. You'll notice it will become easier to set and stick to your boundaries, and to say no to the things that really aren't important to your business any longer.
Once you've defined success for your business, write it down and post your definition in your office. As you go about your work day, continue to check in with yourself and your definition to see if what you're doing, thinking, or being aligns with your definition of success. If it doesn't, consider eliminating that task, situation, or thought process from your life. If that isn't possible, then consider if there is a way to change the task, situation or thought process. As you do this exercise over and over, you'll start to feel lighter, less overwhelmed, less stressed, and much more in tune with building your successful business.
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