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By Greg Reid
It's Friday night, you're sitting at a restaurant, and as your
meal arrives, the server says, "Now, don't touch that plate.
It's hot." What's the first thing you do?
Well, 99% of the time you're going to touch that plate, right?
I call it the 99% rule. It's closer to 100%, but I give myself
a little "out" for those who wish to find a loophole in it.
After years of studying human behavior, I've come up with a few
of these 99% rules that I wish to share with you today. Looking
for these common denominators in everyday conversation will
help you read between the lines more quickly.
When someone starts a sentence with it's not, they're usually
trying to tell you what something really is without hurting
your feelings.
When someone starts a sentence with I don't, they're trying to
direct you without hurting your feelings.
Here are some examples of the first rule in action.
When they say, "It's not you, it's me," they're trying to tell
you that it is you. (Since I date quite a bit, I hear this one
quite often!)
When they say, "It's not that you're too short," they're trying
to tell you that they think you are too short.
When they say, "It's not that I have a drinking problem," what
probably comes out of their mouth next is a story about how
they drank too much.
Get the picture? But please don't take my word for this. Listen
for yourself. It will amaze you.
Here's how I use the 99% rule in everyday activity to help me
cut to the chase and find out what's really on someone's mind.
Let's say a salesperson comes into my office and begins his
sentence with, "It's not that we're trying to raise money,
we're simply trying to help you gain a new product line for
your corporation."
Now, whatever comes out of his mouth next doesn't really make a
difference, because I know by using the 99% rule that he really
wants to raise money. So I would interrupt him mid-sentence and
say, "Listen, you need money, and I could use the product.
Forget the five dollars that you want for each unit. I'll
save us both time and give you what you could really use:
two dollars each. Do you want it?"
You see, once you master listening to what people are actually
trying to tell you, it puts you in control and it can save a
lot of heartache in the long run.
The other example I mentioned was the phrase I don't. When
someone starts a sentence with I don't, the 99% rule tells you
that they're actually trying to direct you without hurting your
feelings. Here are some examples.
"I don't want to tell you how to raise your children, but . . ."
"I don't want to tell you how to drive, but . . ."
"I don't want you to take my side, but . . ."
See what I mean?
Now go out and use this information for yourself. Try it out
with your friends, business associates, and dates. They'll be
amazed at how well you can read them, and you'll look like a
star by simply using and applying the 99% rule.
Keep Smilin'
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